All We Know Is Falling
by andifyoucaretofindme
Summary: How much do we really know about Castiel? Yes, he's an Angel. But how did he get there? Did he ever act human with anyone other then the Winchesters? This is the story of his past and the girl he was to never see again. Bit OOC, AU, OC. Please try it out?
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N: Hello :D Thank you for taking the moment to read my story. I do have an original character in here so I hope you don't hate her. This is my interpretation of what could've been for Castiel. Also I just wanted to add that the plot is going to follow the show pretty strictly, just a warning haha **_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural the show, or the wonderfully amazing characters. But I do own Alex and her story.**_

Chapter 1

_Dean stared at the television, watching intently as two doctor's kissed passionately on the screen. Sam slowly approached from the bathroom of the house they were momentarily squatting in, fixing the cuff of his shirt, watching Dean with an eyebrow raised._

"_What are you watching?" he asked._

_Dean, not taking his eyes off the screen said, "A hospital show. Dr. Sexy MD. It was based on a book." Sam laughed._

"_When did you hit menopause?" he joked as he walk past Dean to retrieve his jacket. Dean rolled his eyes and stood up, smoothing out the jacket he was already wearing._

"_It's called channel surfing."_

Alexandra walked into the abandoned house, her bones aching. She'd been traveling for miles with an old pervert and she just wanted to sleep. She walked into the den, finding a suitable couch to lie on and sat down. She sighed, relieved as she dropped her bag on the floor next to her, the guns on the inside hitting the floor with a loud thud. She took her hair out of her long worn ponytail and took off her jacket. She reached inside of her bag, finding her well-used knife, and slipping in carefully under her pillow. She covered herself with her jacket and relaxed against the pillow. Touching one hand on the handle of the knife, she quickly fell asleep.

She hadn't noticed the laptop sitting quietly on the table in the dinning room or the bags at the other side of the room.

**3 hours later**

Dean and Sam went their separate ways to cover more ground faster. Sam went off to check out the crime scene while Dean was going to the house to check up on the victim. Of course when he walked into the den all he got was a knife to his neck.

As soon as Alex heard the creek of the front door open she had her knife out and her jacket had fallen quietly to the floor. She stood up and walked swiftly to the wall, pushing herself against it. She listened to the heavy footsteps of a man walking her way. Right as he came into her line of sight she leaped out at him, pressing the knife tightly against his neck.

Without thinking Dean elbowed the girl in the stomach. She let go as the wind was knocked out of her. He took advantage of her momentary pause and grabbed the hand with the knife in it and twisted it against her back, using it as leverage as he roughly shoved her against the wall.

Alex struggled fruitlessly with the tight grip on her arm.

"Wait! Please!" she begged, hoping it would be enough to make him let her go. If only she could take off her glove, trying to touch him. She wriggled her hand, trying to get it off. All he did was pushed her tighter against the wall.

"Who are you?" he growled in her ear. His lips brushed against her ear and that was all she needed. She saw the worst moment of this man's life flash before her eyes as.

_A man, maybe a bit younger then the one that was holding her, was holding his arm as if he was injured and they were walking toward each other._

"_Dean." The younger man whispered. All of a sudden Dean's eyes widened._

"_Sam, watch out!" another man came out of nowhere and stabbed Sam in the back, then ran off._

_Alex watched as Sam died in Dean's arms._

Normally, if Alex were in this position with anyone else, she would've used this knowledge to stun her captivator, giving her enough time to run or kill. But this memory was one she'd seen before.

"Dean…" she whispered. Dean quickly turned her around, wrapping his hands around her throat as he glared at her.

"Who are you?" he asked again.

"You don't know me, but I know you, Dean Winchester." He began to squeeze, her eyes widened.

"How do you know my name?" she tried to keep a cool head.

"They talk about you two all the time." She said, hoping he would take the bite and let go of her so she could explain. All he did was squeeze a bit tighter. She brought her gloved hand up to touch his, she could feel her throat being closed up.

"What are you?"

"Hunter. I'm a hunter. My name is Alex." She said quickly, her face beginning to turn red.

"I don't believe you." He said, his eyes boring into hers. She quickly pulled off her gloves, starting to feel dizzy from the effects of being strangled, and touched both palms to the sides of his head. And before he even knew what she was doing, he saw his entire confrontation with the crossroads demon to save Sam flash before his eyes lasting only about a couple of seconds. She let go of his and the memory ended. He released her neck, making her fall to the floor gasping for air.

She knew she'd have a more difficult time with him if she showed him is brother dying all over again so she chose a different route. Despite the fact she was getting better at picking a choosing the memories she'd use, she would also get some extra stuff that happened before or after the memory she chose.

As she tried to regain her breath he ran over to the kitchen to grab some holy water he had stashed away. He walked back quickly. She looked up at him only to be splashed with holy water.

"Jesus Christ, Dean." She said, clearly annoyed as she wiped the water off of her face. "Have any other test you'd like to perform on me?"

Satisfied momentarily he closed the clasp on the bottle. "A couple actually."

She pulled out her necklace she had inside her shirt and showed it to him. "Pure iron." she said. The necklace was a single pure iron, angel wing on a thin chain. The charm was simple, not at all showy or intricately done up. But it was beautiful in it's simplicity.

Dean gave the necklace a look, then nodded. "How long have you had it?"

She put her necklace back inside her shirt and stood up, "About four years." He nodded slowly, obviously unsure about her.

"How did you do that? That picture thing inside my head?" she clenched her teeth together. She knew how he would react to her ability and he wouldn't like it one bit.

"I don't think I want to tell you." She said stubbornly. He raised an eyebrow at her.

"Either you tell me, or I kill you. You're choice." She swallowed past the lump in her throat. Before she could answer though, the front door opened again.

"Hey, Dean. Did you find any…" he trailed off as he caught sight of Alex, "…thing." He ended lamely. "Dean, what's going on here?" he asked, staring at Alex.

"She was here when I got in. She attacked me." Alex watched as Sam's eyes jumped to the ceiling over her head, no doubt looking for a Devil's Trap.

"I'm not a demon Sam. I'm a hunter." She approached him slowly, holding her hand out to him. "I'm Alex." He stared at her, confused, then took her hand.

"No, Sam. Don't!" Dean said quickly, but not quick enough. Alex pulled any memory of his, anything that would make an effect on him, then replayed it for him. She ended up choosing the moment Dean said, "If I didn't know you, I'd want to hunt you." Then she pullet go of him and watched him, waiting for a reaction. He slowly raised his eyes to hers.

"How did you do that?" he asked as calmly as he could.

"I have these…powers." She said, trying to look for the right words. "Like yours." she gave a humorless laugh, "You and I are more alike then you think." Then paused, "Well, aside from the drinking of the demon blood. I haven't stooped that low quite yet." She said. Dean glared and took another step towards her but Sam ignored him.

"How old are you?" he asked.

"27." She answered.

"And why are you her alone? Don't you have a family or a college life to get back to?" Dean interjected.

"My family is dead." She said as she turned an icy glare at him. "Azazel killed them." She answered, softening a bit as she turned to Sam again. "My mother at 6 months, then my father when I was 18." She turned back to Dean, "And no, I don't have a college life to get back to. I'm a hunter. It's apart of the job description to be undereducated in things that have nothing to do with hunting, isn't it?" she said sarcastically. Both Sam and Dean ignored this, shocked by what she said before.

"But…that means…" said Sam, struggling for words.

She sighed "I was supposed to be apart of the final showdown between all the physic freaks, but Yellow Eyes never found me." She said, "Don't know why. I suppose he had no real use for me." She paused, "Although if that were the case I don't know why he didn't just kill me himself." She mused to herself. She shrugged, "Well it's probably because you two got to him first." She gave them a sardonic smile.

They continued to ignore her snarky attitude, "But, if you were never apart of the…showdown," he said, putting air quotes around 'showdown', "then how do you know about it?"

She sighed, "I hear them talking all the time."

Dean stepped up this time, "Who? The Angels?" he asked quickly.

"No." she said, "Try the other team."

"The demons." Sam said quietly. Dean looked at Sam, incredulously and back at Alex.

"You hear demons?"

Alex nodded, "All the time." She smiled, "And you two are quite a hot topic." She said, and then looked back at Sam. "Especially you Sam." She said, "A lot of them think you would've been a great leader." Then shrugged, "Some still think you are." Sam's face dropped slightly, getting the reference that many of the demons were happy about him releasing Lucifer.

"So you are a demon." Dean said, beginning to look more and more on edge.

"Haven't I shown you that I'm not a demon? Splash me with holy water again if you'd like. There won't be any difference."

"So…you just have Demon Radio going on up there?" he asked.

Alex shrugged, "You could call it that."

Sam shook his head, "Okay so, you're a hunter?"

"I think we've established that more then once already." He ignored her.

"How did you become one?"

"Same as you two. Mom was killed by a demon, dad became obsessed, I had no other choice." She said simply.

"Did you even finish high school?" Sam asked.

"Got my GED before my father died, and I've been on my own ever since. Looking for Azazel to be honest." She said, "Too bad you got to him first. I'd have loved to tear him a new one before he died." She said, "But it's a good thing he's dead." She allowed.

"Well…explain you freaky vision thing." Dean demanded. Alex rolled her eyes but nodded.

"Honestly I don't really know _what _I am." She said, "I pull peoples memories then push it back at them. I can also push my own thoughts into other people's heads. It's how I communicated with my dad for the first couple of years until I finally started speaking. I've been working on pulling responding thoughts like mind reading through touch but I haven't really had anyone to practice on so that hasn't worked out so well. I don't really need hand to head contact but it makes the process a lot easier. The only drawback about the entire thing is that I have to be touching someone for any of this to work. And, of course, because of lack of practice I have trouble narrowing down which memory to use so I sometimes get some useless stuff before and after the memory I choose but," she shrugged, "it's a good weapon against demons while I exorcise them."

"But they're ruthless killers, the bad memories can't have any effect on them." Sam said.

"For the demons I use memories from when they were human, their best memories. For the humans, I use the worst."

"You've used your powers on humans?" Dean said arrogantly.

Alex glared at him, "You won't believe how many disgusting, prevent men there are in the world." She said, acid in her tone. Dean clenched his jaw but back off and said no more.

Sam, feeling the tension rolling around the room, cleared his throat. "Well, you must be here for a reason." He said.

Alex, glad to have the subject changed, nodded, "I heard about the bear attack in a second story room and thought I'd check it out." She said.

"Have you gotten anywhere?" he asked as he walked into the kitchen.

Alex followed him, "No. I just got here. But it made no sense, a bear climbing into a second story room only to tear a man's head off." Sam sat down in front of the laptop and opened it.

"That's exactly what we thought."

"Have you talked to the wife? The paper said she was a witness." She said as she sat across from him.

"Yes we did." Dean said as she sat stiffly next to her.

"And…?" she said, prompting him to tell her.

"She said she saw the Incredible Hulk doing it." Alex raised an eyebrow.

"Really?" Sam spoke up from behind the laptop.

"I also found an 8 foot hole where the door was supposed to be." He said, looking at Dean.

"An Incredible Hulk sized hole." He concluded. Sam turned the laptop to face Dean and Alex.

"And look at this." Alex took a closer look at the screen, looking at all of the jail time he'd received for abusing his wife, battery, and court ordered anger management.

"I guess you could say you wouldn't like him when he's angry." Dean said smartly. Alex rolled her eyes.

"And I found these at the crime scene." He said as she pulled out candy wrappers from his pockets.

"Candy wrappers? What do these have anything to do with anything?" she asked.

"Wait, wait. Screwing with people before they die, has a sweet tooth. We're dealing with the Trickster, aren't we?" said Dean.

"Probably." Said Sam. Alex gave them both a confused look.

"The Trickster?"

"They're Demi-Gods that enjoy messing with peoples head and have a killer sweet tooth." Sam explained.

"Messing with peoples heads is an understatement." Dean said, "He killed me a thousand times!" he said, obviously irritated.

"O…kay, well how do we kill it?" Dean stood up.

"We? There is no 'we', kid. We're taking care of this ourselves. I've been waiting to gank him since the groundhog's day fiasco." He muttered. Alex, unruffled by his refusal to let her in, sat quietly as Sam stood up.

"Well, maybe we shouldn't kill him." Dean eyed him suspiciously.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Well if we can't find The Colt, maybe we could…use his help. You know how he's the kind that doesn't like the party to end. Maybe he hates this Angel's and Demons stuff as much as we do" He said.

"A bloody, violent monster and you want to be friends with him?" Dean asked disbelievingly.

"If it means anything, I think Sam's right." Alex said as she stood up, "The world is going to end; none of us have the luxury of moral stand anymore." She finished. She started to feel a strange heat against her neck; she rubbed at the spot uncomfortably and noticed it was coming from her necklace. The heat became so unbearable that she pulled it out of her shirt and pulled it off from around her neck. She stared at the necklace, shocked. It had only burned once in her life, nine years ago and hadn't burned again. Until now.

"She's right." Alex jumped and turned around face to face with a man she'd never seen before, but she knew. She knew it was him. The burning necklace in her hand was proof.

"Castiel." She whispered.

"Alexandra."

_**A/N: Yes this was mainly filler, but I wanted to set this in the perfect place and time. Yes this is going to be a lot like the episode Changing Channels, but it's going to be different in some aspects. I really hope you liked it and I hope you'll come back! Please review!**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N: Thank you for favoriting this story and putting me on alert haha. It means a lot. I'm happy I caught your interest So review if you'd like, they're always welcome :D**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or Supernatural or anything to do with that. I just own Alex and her little story.**_

Chapter 2

She hadn't changed much. That was all Castiel could think about. The ways in which she didn't change. Of course that was completely illogical. Alexandra had, of course, changed. She was a bit taller now, but not by much, and her brown hair had darkened over the years. She was more filled out then she was at 19 and seemed much surer of herself as she held her head high and her shoulders back as her and Dean fought.

If he were being honest, Alex and Dean were very much alike, which was probably the exact reason why neither of them trusted each other.

And when she turned around, her electric green eyes flashing in a mixture of emotion ranging from hurt to anger, their eyes met for the first time in 9 years. His face softened momentarily, seeing the hurt overpower the anger, but he knew it would do no good to attempt to comfort her. Nowadays he wouldn't even know how to go about doing that anyway. Castiel regained composure quickly before Sam or Dean really noticed his slight change in facial expression, but continued to keep eye contact with Alex, waiting for her to say something.

Sam and Dean looked between Alex and Castiel curiously, feeling the tension fill the space between them, then shared a confused look between each other before Dean stepped up.

"You two know each other?"

Dean's voice seemed to remind Alex of where she was and with whom. She finally got back her composure and straightened out a bit, meeting Castiel's stare.

"Yes." They said together, both of their voices stiff and monotonous.

Sam and Dean share another 'they're not telling us something' look. Alex suppressed a sigh as she broke eye contact and dropped the winged necklace on the table.

"So how do we find the Trickster?" she asked as she turned to Sam and Dean.

Sam took another glance at Castiel, who is still watching Alex, then answered her, "Well, we just have to wait. He never stays quiet for long." Alex nodded

"Well, while you wait I'm going to go see if I can dig up something on the Colt." she pauses, "You two are looking for the Colt, right?" she asked.

"How? We've been looking everywhere…" Sam trailed off.

"Demon Radio, remember?" she said as she tapped the side of her head. "Someone's bound to be either bragging or bitching about the Colt. Might as well take a little look-see." She picked up her gloves and put them back on as she began to walk to the stairs, which were right behind Castiel.

"Where are you going?" Dean asked.

"To meditate. It's easier to hone in on something if nothing is going on around me." She said, "Plus I'm sure you all would love a minute to have a conversation about whether you trust me or not behind my back." She said, giving them a sarcastic smile. She continued walking and as she passed Castiel, they locked eyes for a moment, and then she continued up the stairs and locked herself in the bathroom.

After Alex walked past him Castiel walked over to the counter where she dropped the necklace and waved his hand over it, cooling it off. As it cooled it left a black ring on the counter. Castiel, despite feeling both Sam and Dean's eyes on his back, pocketed the angel wing, then turned to them, waiting for them to say something as he leaned slightly against the countertop.

"How do you two know each other?" Sam asked, his voice uncertain.

"That's unimportant." He responded shortly.

"Cas, can we trust her?" Dean asked, getting straight to the point of Alex and past their obvious tension. Castiel couldn't help but be somewhat grateful to Dean for his bluntness, a characteristic most people find unbecoming for some strange reason.

"From what I know, yes."

"Do you know anything about her, about whether she story is true or not?"

"It is. All of it." Sam stepped up.

"So, she _is_ like me?" Castiel nodded.

"Yes." Dean still looked extremely unsure about the entire situation. "Dean, I think she's our best bet on finding the Colt. You should trust her." He said honestly. Dean scoffed and sat at the table in the kitchen, playing with the knobs on the police scanner he'd obtained, muttering quietly to himself. Sam quietly went to sit at the table as well to begin carving the wooden stakes.

Alex was sitting on the bathroom floor, attempting to meditate. The vessel Castiel was wearing had such a low voice. She'd only heard a couple of words come out of his mouth but the vibration and timbre of his voice was permanently seared into her memory. She shook her head, trying to push the sound of it to the back of her mind and she breathed. Waiting for the voices to come to her.

When the voices first started she'd taught herself to block them out. Now it was easier to transition from silent to volume 10 in a second, but the trick was to get it just right and find the right voice talking about exactly what she needed to hear.

She took a deep breath as she heard the whispers beginning to start. She turned up the volume so to speak and began to search for anyone talking about the Colt. It took a moment to find anything but the second she caught something she zeroed in on it.

"_What about the Colt?"_

"_Lost."_

"_Didn't the Winchesters give it to that Bella girl?"_

"_Oh, Bella? The human who dealt in things of interest with demons? Dead. The hellhounds got her. And I hardly think they gave it to her. She stole it. But I'd never underestimate their stupidity."_

"_Well if she's dead, what'd she do with it?"_

"_What do you think, stupid? She sold it."_

"_Heard she gave it to Lilith."_

"_No. If she had, I'd have known. Now it's just…lost."_

Alex smiled to herself as she closed off the voices and opened her eyes. She jumped when she found Castiel standing over her.

"Jesus, Cas. You ever heard of knocking?" Castiel gave her a confused look.

"Yes…" Alex gave a small laugh at his ignorance and stood. "Still communicating with demons I see." She rolled her eyes as she unlocked the bathroom door and opened it.

"Not communicating, just listening."

"You know it's dangerous to get wrapped up with them." He said as he followed her to the stairs.

"I'm not getting wrapped up," she said as she began to descend the stairs, "I'm getting information on the Colt. Which I did if that means anything to you." Castiel follows her.

"And you trust their information? Do you know if they know you're listening in? Do you haven any idea how dangerous that would be? They're demons, Alex." As they both hit the bottom of the stairs and walk into the hallway Alex turned sharply, making him almost collide with her.

"That's a nice vessel you've got there. What'd you have to tell him to get him to say yes?" she asked harshly, giving him a short glare.

He returns the glare, "That is none of your business."

The confrontation made Sam and Dean look up from carving out the wooden stakes they were making. They put down the stakes and walk over to the two slowly, curious as to what's going on.

"Well…" she trailed off as she pulled off her gloves and stuffed them in her back pocket, "let's find out." She crossed the last couple of steps toward him and reached out to him.

"Alex…" Castiel warned, but she didn't listen. The second her palms touch the sides of his head his skin began to bubble under her touch, sending intense shooting pain through the rest of his body. If it was this bad for him, he couldn't imagine how bad it was for her.

Alex also felt the bubbling of her skin as soon as they made contact and did her best to ignore the pain that continuously shot electricity through her arms and down the rest of her body. She searched his mind for the right memories and found them more quickly then she expected, what with her lack of concentration. She found the memories about Jimmy and pushed them back at Castiel, the entire push and pull taking all of 30 seconds.

As soon as she was finished she let go of him, turning away from him so he couldn't see the obvious pain on her face. The entire palms of her hands were burned painfully. She glanced over at him, seeing her handprints momentarily grace his face until he healed himself.

"He asked for it. He _prayed_ for it." He said, his voice rising as he defended himself. She scoffed.

"Yes, after you single handedly made his family think he was crazy!" she shot back.

Dean approached warily. "Guys…"

Alex, despite the pain, grabbed Dean's arm tightly searching for any memories of Jimmy until she found the moment where Jimmy talks about what it's like to be a vessel. She pulled the memory and instead of pushing it back, kept it, then let go of him and gave Castiel a humorless laugh.

"You're no better then the demons."

"Yet he asked for it when he knew what was happening." He said in a low, dangerous voice.

Alex, not at all fazed by his tone, retorted. "Because you threatened to take his daughter instead. How is that at all okay?"

"Guys. Guys! Come on…" Said Sam. Alex sighed and shook her head and turned away from Castiel to face Dean.

"I'm sorry about what I did, but I have something that might interest you about the Colt. But first, can you help me out?" she asked as she held out her burned hands to Dean.

Dean turned to Castiel, "Can't you heal her?"

Castiel continued glaring at her back, "No. I touch her and I burn her. The healing process would be pointless because she'd just end up burned again."

"But…why?" Sam asked, but before Sam could finish his sentence Castiel was gone. Dean sighed heavily.

"Sam, patch her up while I finish." Then he looked at her, "You and I will talk later about what you have." Alex nodded as Dean walked off to the kitchen and sat down again, choosing to ignore what had just happened.

"Go ahead and sit over there." Sam said pointing at the couch Alex was sleeping on earlier. Alex quietly did as she was told and watched as Sam pulled out a couple of different things then brought them over to her. He sat down next to her as she stared at her palms.

"So." He said. Alex chuckled and looked up.

"So." She sighed, "He doesn't trust me, does he?" she said as she nodded in Dean's direction.

He shook his head slightly, "Sometimes I don't think you're the only one." She gave him an apologetic smile and bumped his shoulder gently. He gave her a forced smile and began to wet the cloth he had with peroxide.

"Go ahead." She said, trying to change the subject, "I know you're dying to know." He snickered then sighed.

"Why do you burn when he touches you and vice versa?" he asked resolutely.

"What did Cas say about me?" she countered.

"I asked you first."

"I need your answer to answer your question." They gave each other a look, then Sam reached out for her hand gently. He paused for a moment, finding no memories flashing before his eyes.

"I have limited control over it, so if you could hurry up this would be much easier." She said stiffly. She winced as he dabbed the peroxide on both of her hands but was good about keeping her powers in check.

"All he said was that we can trust you, which was the million dollar question as you know." Alex nodded. Again Alex held back her powers as Sam carefully put lotion on her hands, effectively cooling the heat.

"Well, all I can tell you is that it's not because I have demon blood in me. You should know that by now." She said.

"Can you tell me why?" Alex bit her lip for a minute, contemplating the idea of telling him as he wrapped both of her hands, then sighed.

"No." Sam gave a shocked laugh.

"And why not?"

"Because." She said. Seeing that this wasn't a viable answer in Sam's eyes she gave a little more. "It's not just my story to tell. It's Castiel's too." She said. He shook his head with a small smile on his face.

"You are just as mysterious as him." He said.

She laughed, "It comes with the job, doesn't it?" They stared at each other for a moment until Dean called them into the kitchen. As the three of the listened to the strange call on the police scanner Alex put her gloves back on.

"Sounds like the Trickster." Said Dean. Sam nodded in agreement. They began to walk around packing what they needed.

"Guys, wait. What about me?" she asked as Dean passed her.

"You." He turned to look at her. "You stay here." She snorted.

"No way. I'm coming with." As Sam walked past her and gathered his guns from the side table he looked over at Dean.

"Just let her come, man. She can help."

"How, Sam? She's never met a Trickster before." Alex sighed.

"Just because I've never met one doesn't mean I don't know how to stab something in the heart. You guys can fill me in on all of its tricks on the way there because honestly, if we don't hurt up, it's going to be gone once we get there." She said frankly.

Dean shook his head. "I can't believe I'm doing this." He muttered to himself, then looked up at her, "Come on, lets go."

Alex tried not to look too proud of herself as she picked up her bag from the end of her couch and slung it over her shoulder, following Sam out to the Impala and slid onto the smooth leather seat in the back.

_**A/N: So since things are beginning to even out for me and I've found a good balance between school, work, and writing I'll be posting a chapter once a week. Probably every Friday or Saturday night. Cool. So, tell me what you think? **_


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